Saturday, October 8, 2011

Soon to be out of the strange land.

Well it's been an interesting few months after my return from deployment. In December we welcomed our 3rd child into the world, Leland Rhys Wesley Beun. I missed his arrival but my mother-in-law was there and I got to see him when he was a week old and then had to fly back to finish the deployment. I'll put in a couple pics below. I got back in May and after I got settled back in with my family I started to seek some medical treatment for my skin and my back.

Turns out I have psoriasis on my hands and feet and since I cook for the government I was told I need to request a transfer into another MOS(Army job). Now I qualify, both medically, physically and mentally for nearly every job the Army has and picked 5 that I would like to have. I chose Public Affairs, Pharmacy Tech, Respiratory Tech, Geospatial Engineer and some signal one I can't remember now. "Big Army" (Pentagon) came back with a denial of my re-class and told me to process into the physical disability system for separation.

So it looks like my military career will end in the next 5 months or so. At first I was pretty pissed but that gave way to relief that they had made up my mind for me. You see my whole time in the Army has been a battle between what they wanted me to be and who I am. It never really fit me I think. I'd never leave it voluntarily though as I would always think of the pat, insurance and retirement and would convince myself that being miserable was OK because the end would justify the means. I came into the Army to find my place in the world but this isn't it for me. I have no regrets for enlisting or anything I've done since, it's made me who I am today.

I've struggled since day one with what I thought the military to be from talking to vets and from the media and what it really is. The media portrays us as the best the nation has to offer but in my experience it's not that simple. The Army is a slice of the American pie, although a bigger slice seems to come from the South and the minorities. It seems a majority of people in it have nothing better to do and nowhere else to go. This is no surprise to me but what does surprise me is that it seems people cannot shed their old habits from before they joined. I get the impression that we are just civilians in uniform. I came out of basic "different". I felt the awesome sense of duty, honor and history that came with wearing the uniform. Every day I think of those men that came before me and what I can do today to do my best and honor their sacrifices. Instead I encounter with cynicism, racism, ignorance, laziness, selfishness and a sense of entitlement. Too idealistic you say? Perhaps. My problem has always been I build something up in my head and how I was it to be and when that thing does not meet the expectations I have set for it I have trouble dealing with the disappointment.

So know what do we do?

I was planning on continuing in the food service industry but with my skin condition that is no longer suitable for me. With the GI Bill I can go to school anywhere and study anything I'd like. I thought about going home for school or perhaps finding a job in the Detroit area. But I've already seen Michigan and my wanderlust has still not been satisfied. Besides, they are enjoy a nearly 20% unemployment rate back home so that's probably not the best place to start another career. I've decided to study Mining Engineering. Why? Well, it's a growing industry, our society always needs minerals, there are a small amount of graduates nationwide every year and there are opportunities for work worldwide. I've decided to attend South Dakota School of Mines and Technology. So more moving for us. Hopefully this will be the last career change for me. Perhaps it will be but if not we'll stay flexible and it'll turn out fine.